Another bad penny

The news that Steve Novick is running to get back on the Portland City Council was pretty depressing. But even worse was the throwaway line in this story that running against Novick will be none other than Bicycle Rex Burkholder. 

Burkholder spent 12 years as one of the faceless commissioners on the governing board of Portland's weird and unnecessary Metro layer of government. There he delivered oodles of pork to the Goldschmidt people who were running every aspect of government in the state at the time. And the misguided priorities he advanced put Portland squarely on the bike path to the sorry state it's in today.

Burkholder sounds a little Al Gore-ish on his LinkedIn page, where he claims "[h]e started the bicycling revolution in Portland, Oregon" – implying that that's a wonderful thing. I wonder if it's really such a great calling card, even if it's true. That pitch has failed for him before.

In 2010, Burkholder ran a startlingly inept campaign to become the president of Metro. He looked so bad that Tom Hughes, the ex-mayor of Hillsboro, beat him in all three counties. And Hughes turned out to be no prize himself. Witness our lovely taxpayer-financed Convention Center Hotel. How's that turning out? Don't expect our lazy local media to even ask.

But I digress. Bicycle Rex, who is 67 years old now, shocked us all back then with his campaign material, which was truly bizarre. Anybody besides me remember this gem?

Since he took his shellacking and announced his retirement from politics, B. Rex has apparently been holding himself out as a consultant to other politicians and the nonprofit industrial complex, and he was part of some sort of effort to get public money thrown at sending area kids to outdoor camps in the summer. 

Now he wants back on the public pad, and of course, the taxpayers of Portland will pay for whatever new nonsense his campaign marketers draw up. "Clean money," and all that. Dear God, please, no more of those videos.

What could we expect from a Burkholder stint on the City Council? Some images on the bike children's website from a year ago give some pretty strong hints. Here he is all tight with Jessica Chevy Vega, and here he is trying to look busy with Sarah Yada Yada Yadaroni. It doesn't get any scarier than that.

In May, voters in District 3 (most of southeast Portland) will have to rank Burkholder and Novick. Wow, that's a tough one. Especially since "hell no to both" is not an option. But I'd have to hold my nose and vote for Novick rather than choose Bicycle Rex for anything.