This one left marks

David Sedaris, one of the world's best humorists, and best writers of any ilk, has a damning essay about Portland in this week's New Yorker magazine... Seems he was attacked by one of our downtown street dwellers' dogs, while the defiant dope heads were busy puffing away... Sedaris's piece, while amusing in some respects, was also a pretty sharp indictment of our fair city, and especially of the hideous mistake that was Measure 110... A particular target for his outrage is the attitude of people in Portland, and elsewhere, who were way more concerned for the dog than they were about Sedaris's bite wound... And so another PR headache has been added to Mayor Wilson's enormous pile... Anyone else embarrassed to say you're from here?...

The most interesting person in all of the United States Congress is from the Rose City 'burb across the Columbia. Maria Gluesenkamp Perez of Clark County keeps bucking the Democratic Party leadership on issue after issue, including yesterday, when she was one of seven House Dems who voted for a bill dealing with how the sweethearts in the immigration Gestapo treat children in their custody.... I like MGP, who seems to have an actual conscience as well as a spine, but she may be crossing the line too many times, I'm afraid... Surely she's cruising for a primary battle, as bad as that may be for the blue crew. Her district is as purple as it gets, and the foe in the general election will be someone like Trumpy Joe Kent. If the Dems run an Angelita Morillo type over there, the district is going to flip back red...  At least the MAGA/GOP challenger won't be Trumpy Joe himself. He's off in a D.C. "national security" silo somewhere, no doubt gleefully committing war crimes...

The O had an article yesterday about the fact that Melissa Fireside, the Clackistan county commissioner who's accused of criminal elder financial abuse, is still on the lam, and likely still outside the country... They didn't speculate about where she might be, but if I had to bet a dollar, I'd say... Portugal. Just a hunch... If she's still got her son with her, it's going to be hard to stay out of sight for too long... The trial, if there is one, is going to be spectacular... Followed by the movie, on Netflix... Anyway, where do you think she is? 

Speaking of dubious international travel, did you see that Portland's unintentionally comical "transportation" chief, Millicent Williams, was a proud attendee of a conference in Saudi Arabia earlier this month?... Better look now, because I'm sure all the evidence will be scrubbed, but for a while there she was bragging about it... Fortunately the very alert guy running the Bike Portland blog caught on and turned on his blinding LED headlamp... Williams has passed the two-year mark in the top transportation post. The usual timeline for bureaucrats like her indicates that her bankers boxes will be packed sometime in the new year... Check DraftKings for the precise date and odds... 

Yours truly had to have some dental work performed last week, and it led to a strange dream... In the dream, the dentist advised me that I needed to see a psychiatrist... 

Well, if you haven't said goodbye to Chauncey Billups, the Blazer head coach who's alleged to be deeply mobbed up, now might be the time... He's sold his mansion in Lake Oswego, reportedly for a cool $4.3 million... At last report, he was still officially "on leave" from the team, but his next appearance on a basketball court may be in an exercise yard... Meanwhile, the Blazers continue to swoon, although they do seem to have the creaky old Golden State Warriors' number...

This warm, soggy late fall surprises me a little... I thought we were in a La Niña, and that meant icy cold... All I know for sure is that there were still a dozen or so ripe cherry tomatoes on the tall plant in our garden last week. Still good, especially compared to those hard, white, square things that pass for tomatoes in the supermarket in the winter...

My wife's ballot in the November election was rejected because we mailed it, and it wasn't postmarked by Election Day... As the person in charge of getting the vote delivered, I plead guilty... But I did leave it out for the mailman, who picked it up before noon on Election Day... Given who's in charge of the Post Office these days, I can't say I'm surprised. So let it be a lesson... Fortunately, it was just a property tax increase election, and of course, this being Portland, it wasn't close...

We northern New Jersey natives mourn the impending loss of the Budweiser brewery on U.S. 1 and 9 near the Newark Airport... The sight of its giant animated neon eagle out the airplane window was always a signal to folks from that part of the world that they had arrived home... My uncle retired out of that plant after decades of working in breweries, like his father before him... Newark used to be a magnet for the beer industry, in large part due to its excellent water supply. Those days are long gone, however... Especially sad are the jobs that will be lost. Everybody who works there will be offered a gig somewhere else in the Anheuser-Busch organization, but hey, this is Jersey. We ain't movin', ya moron...

The cusp of Sagittarius and Capricorn is nearly here, and it's time to note some Oregon birthdays that are in danger of being swallowed up by the Christmas hoopla. All dates courtesy of the 'bots... Former state labor commish Mary Wendy Roberts turns 81 on Friday... State Senator Sara Gelser Blouin will have her 52nd birthday on Saturday...  It's 89 candles for ex-Governor Barbara Roberts on Sunday... Singer-songwriter Maiah Wynne celebrates 29 years on Monday... TV's Holly Madison, an Astoria native, is 46 as of Tuesday... And then Mary's water broke, and the rest is history... Have a joyous and safe season...

Jeff Knight is the former dining and entertainment columnist of the Jersey Journal. Send news tips to Jeff at jeffknightpdx@gmail.com.