You had to be there

Well, the World Series was a real kick in the pants, one of the best ever, but it bugs me that the media missed an easy opportunity... The star pitcher for the Dodgers, and the most valuable player in the championship series, was Yoshi Yamamoto. I would have thought that every strikeout of his would have been called a "Y2K"... Then again, in order to get that reference, someone would have to be at least 30 years old... Forget I mentioned it. I still feel like the 20th Century was five years ago... 

It was a fine Election Day for us foes of our Dear Leader. Every Dem who won a big race was basically running against him... Duck, here comes the ketchup!... But viewing the NYC mayoral race, it seems like the choices on the coasts are boiling down to MAGA or socialism. On the national level, you know who wins that contest... And what about all of us in the vast ideological in-between?....

Speaking of socialism, the Portland park maintenance tax passed, to no one's surprise. It irritates me that when reporting on its passage today, the local media are shouting out how "pricey" it is... They sure weren't highlighting that in the weeks leading up to the election, when it mattered... The proud pinkos who have working control of the City Council are feeling their oats this morning, I'm sure. But the Rose City isn't the Big Apple. Portland's economy is pretty sick, and there's not much to bounce back with...

In newsprint news, the dynamic duo who bought the local monthly shopper newspaper over here in northeast Portland – the Hollywood Star News – haven't missed a beat in cranking it out... The November issue is as enjoyable as ever, and a reminder of what a small town this place really is... Meanwhile, that good troublemaker Allan Classen is still smiling at the helm of the NW Examiner, which mostly covers the northwest part of town and is way more than just a shopper... But we're all still hoping and praying for his heir to become apparent. Classen is about as spring a chicken as I am, and Father Time is undefeated...

It's remarkable that Mudface Caligula's executioners are actually still prosecuting the guy who threw a Subway footlong at an ICE agent on the street in Washington, D.C., a while back... The poor, poor officer testified yesterday that he could smell the onions and mustard as the sub bounced off his chest. He says he felt the impact through his bulletproof vest as the sandwich "exploded"... 

The moment of impact.

I'd give anything to know what the meats and/or veggies were on that sandwich. They should name it after the accused, Sean Charles Dunn. I'd buy more than one in solidarity...

Speaking of baked goods, I checked into Spielman's Bagels early one recent weekend afternoon just when they had sold out of bagels for the day... The guy in front of me got the last one, a poppy seed... So I bought a bag of a half dozen of their day-olds, at a very bargain price. And knowing what to do with a microwave and a freezer, I got them as good as fresh over the next few days. Boomer triumph... Ask me about jumper cables...

The stormy weather we've been enduring lately has made it impossible for Portlanders to observe one of the year's big celestial events... It's being called the Full Beaver Supermoon... You'll have to make up your own joke...

Jeff Knight is the former dining and entertainment columnist of the Jersey Journal. Send news tips to Jeff at jeffknightpdx@gmail.com.