Short and sweet

In brooding about resuming blogging, I've been considering boiling things down a bit. Rather than compose a full blog post on every subject that crosses my mind, maybe I should just write a sentence or two on each topic, and roll them together into a punchy column, like the old guys did. You know, Walter Winchell, Herb Caen, Ed Sullivan, that sort of deal. Here in Portland, for a long time we had such a column by Jonathan Nicholas. Phil Stanford was in that vein at times. Back in my Jersey Journal days, Nat Berg was our man.

The column, which would come out once or twice a week, might save me, and you, a lot of time. Here's a sample. If it continued, what would be its catchy title? 

* * * * *

Fans of the Seattle Mariners baseball team are still in mourning after their team's exit from the playoffs. They were a few innings away from their maiden trip to the World Series, but their bullpen folded like a cheap tent. The M's always find a way to break your heart. They're at 48 years without a pennant, and counting...

Speaking of chronically underachieving sports teams, the sale of the Blazers seems to still be "game on," although in a sort of escrow at the moment. What wows me more than anything about the $4 billion deal is the fact that one of the buyers is the husband of the wiz-kid doctor who runs the Oregon state health department, Sejal Hathi. The hubby, Sheel Tyle, is loaded. He's a big-time vult— I mean venture capitalist. Meanwhile, does anybody know if Hathi has gone through with her crazy plan to moonlight on weekends as a clinical doc at Stanford Hospital? I suppose that might put her closer to the Blazers if they get shipped out to Vegas...

On the brighter side of sports, it's almost women's college basketball season... Last year, I really got into it after catching a few University of Portland games up on the bluff... Cheap night out, and real basketball. They had a pretty good team last year, too...

I still haven't been in a Fred Meyer store in ages, continuing a boycott that's in its fifth year... I nixed those guys off when Kroger put Mrs. Mitch McConnell, Elaine Chao, on its board of directors. I can get everything I need elsewhere... Mrs. Mitch continues to pull in a cool $300K a year for attending some meetings... Meanwhile, did you see the vid of the Turtle doing a face plant in the Senate hallway the other day? You should feel sorry for him. Really.

Speaking of Senate wives, how about that Mrs. Ron Wyden? Accused in court filings of mistakenly blasting pepper spray onto her now-estranged personal assistant when she was trying to spray it on the Wydens' allegedly troubled teenage son. "Honey, I maced the kids."... Ya gotta wonder what it's like in that posh N.Y.C. pad, three kids still at home, with Mom running a complicated business and Dad always on the road... And pushing 77 years old to boot...

Remember that tasteless National Lampoon cover that read "If you don't buy this magazine, we'll kill this dog"? I'm reminded of it when I peruse the come-ons for the Portland property tax increase on the current ballot. "If you don't give us more money, we'll neglect these parks." Funny how after 100 years or more, suddenly basic park maintenance requires a special property tax. Where are the billions going? Bureaucrat pensions, I guess...

Are you like me, do you find  yourself fooling around with ChatGPT? It's really bad for the earth, but it sure does shortcut some grunt work. Sadly, some day it will come for your job... But it will never produce a blog column. Right? Right?