About those deck chairs

Dud Wheeler's performance as mayor of Portland has been so pathetic that it's fitting he will spend the last 15 months of it running around like a chicken with its head cut off. He's trying to implement the new charter foisted upon us by the arrogant children to whom the city turned the matter over, and there's no reason to suspect that Hizzoner won't screw that up like he has everything else he's handled over the last seven years.

This week he and several of his colleagues on the City Council are scratching and hissing at each other over some of the petty details. Sophie, Enlightened Child of the Weed, gets into it here. Part of what's being debated is whether to remodel City Hall now, to accommodate the foolishness of a dozen City Council members plus the mayor, or to wait. They're also fussing about how many bureaucrats to bring on line early, so that we can run both the old system and the new system simultaneously.

Dud has been talking about taking over supervision of all the city bureaus himself for a while. I believe that under the current charter, that's his right. The other four council members, who were no doubt looking forward to enjoying their final months as thousands of people's utterly unqualified bosses, are howling in protest about that, too.

It's starting to dawn on people that Portland's many serious problems are going to be placed on the back burner for the next year and a half while all the charter tomfoolery goes on. And then the clowns selected under "rank choice" voting will take over. Just when you thought it couldn't get worse.

As for remodeling City Hall, that should be a nonstarter. Downtown Portland has plenty, plenty of empty office space, enough to house the 12 new bobbleheads and their staffs many times over. Let them walk a few blocks to the meetings. They might see what kind of shape their downtown is in.

Speaking of bureaucracies, I stumbled across an interesting list yesterday. It's shows all the city officials who are subject to lobbying rules. Dear Lord, what a giant cast of dummies and ne'er-do-wells. The staffs of the current City Council alone are enough to curl your hair. We're paying for this, folks:

Rubio, Carmen

• Beyer, Megan (Elizabeth)
• Ghan, Christina
• Pierce, MeeSeon Kwon (Claire)
• Rico Cornwell, Angela
• Radosta, James
• Schoene, Jillian

Ryan, Dan

• Aptekar, Bryan
• Croft, Alexa
• Dornblaser, Jake
• Jones, Darion
• Lee, William
• Ladd, Michelle
• McHugh, Thomas
• Montez, Chariti
• Porter, Laudie
• Souede, Jill
• Theisen, Terri
• Torres, Kellie

Gonzalez, Rene

• Aguirre Velazquez, Edna
• Coffey, Nicholas
• Dupree, Ben
• Galvez Mora, Grace
• Miller, Thomas
• Smith, Shah (Shahriyar)
• Van Domelen, Cassidy
• Zarpak, Grace

Mapps, Mingus

• Carney, Shannon
• Lyons, Adam
• Meyer, Katherine
• Monsignac, Nalie (Aravnalie)
• Pahl, Jackson
• Rodriguez, Michelle
• Salazar, Goldann

Wheeler, Ted

• Lee, Bobby (Robert)
• Morrissey, Sara
• Blonsley, Hayley
• Bonner, Tony (James)
• Bowman, Cody
• Brocker-Knapp, Skyler 
• Fitzpatrick, Robert
• Hernandez, Ashley
• Howard, Stephanie
• Johnson, Glori
• Lehman, Megan
• Lilly, JR (Irvin)
• Mimica, Mila
• Morrison, Taylor
• Pack, Barry
• Roble, John
• Smith, Harry
• Taylor, Kristopher
• Thompson, Dakotah
• Villarreal, Jennifer
• Wasserstrom, Shulamit
• Wendelbo, Amanda
• Zimmerman, Eric

Now add eight more offices. The only question at this point is where. A better Portland is on its way. Sure it is.