Poetry corner

There once was a mayor named Ted

Whose MBA went to his head

The cops he defunded

The tent rules he undid

And now the whole downtown is dead


There is a Latina named Carmen

Whose free-spending ways are alarmin’

To feast at the trough it’s

More pork for nonprofits

She doesn’t care whom she is harmin’

There was a professor named Mapps

Who suffered a terrible lapse

He once talked good sense

But now he seems dense

And for his career we play “Taps”

There once was a guy named Rene

Who tried to tell bums to obey

But he got shouted down

By the Commies in town

’Cause that’s the Portlandian way


There’s a gentleman known as Dan Ryan

To shelter some homeless he’s tryin’

But he’s going so slow

There’s little to show

And most of the addicts are dyin


  1. There once was a place called Stumptown
    That the rest of the country looked on down
    With tent cities galore, it was really a bore
    But the city just choose to ignore

    They tried to market to foodies
    But the tourists didn’t want to get cooties
    The beer was the best, with coffee abundant
    But most of the tourists just shunned it.

  2. We seem to have the limericks covered.

    Any Haiku hobbyists wanna jump in?

  3. I LOVE LOVE LOVE this poem, enormously clever and witty! Kudos to whomever wrote it, with only one small suggestion: Commissioner Carmen Rubio identifies as "Latinx," not the horribly MISOGYNISTICALIST term "Latina"!


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