Don't be (or eat) a sucker

I just got this hot advisory from the Oregon Health Authority. Due to pollution, they've lowered the recommended number of times a month you should eat fish caught in the Columbia Slough.

Such a disappointment. I was hoping to eat whole body largescale sucker out of the Slough multiple times over the course of the next month, as I have for many years as a holiday tradition...

Only kidding! No problem, dudes! I wouldn't eat any sea creature that's come closer to that body of water than the refrigerator case in the Costco warehouse. But thanks for the heads-up, just the same.

If I may add another health tip regarding the Slough: Avoid the brown trout.


  1. They are actually rainbow trout. The brown color comes from, oh, use your imagination.

  2. Didn’t they have a lot of Vietnamese immigrants back in the day eating fish caught in the slough, so they were forced to put up signs saying not to eat fish caught there?

    I seem to remember something like that. I can’t imagine a native Portlander that is unaware of the danger of “whatever” lurks in there. I probably wouldn’t eat anything out of The Willamette past about Albany.

  3. Yeah, I suppose there are some people who might not know any better. But man, to tell them it's okay to eat it twice a month?

    1. Don’t knock it until you try it. I don’t care what they say, I am going to feast on the mighty sucker fish as much as I can. Or until I get very ill.


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