Not the Onion... not Portlandia...

But still, it's got to be some kind of prank, right? The latest from the Weed:

Portland is a city where nesting is a never-ending pursuit—the homebody lifestyle turned up a notch.

I guess they're going for whatever the latest version of yuppies is called. 

If someone you care about is going the route of the guy on the left, please, in the name of all that is sacred, stage an intervention, now.

Comments

  1. That’s hilarious Jack. While the guy’s appearance is a bit...odd, his wife or girlfriend or whatever, is reminiscent of a Quaker woman from 1850.

    They are both certainly not “cover material” if I can be blunt about it. But the fact that WW finds them to be relatable to their readership, enough to put them on an inaugural cover, tells you everything you need to know about why they write what they write.


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    1. I think that might be issue no. 2.

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  2. An Anthropology student would have fun with this. No need for an in depth investigation. The conclusions are so obvious.

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  3. Eh, soon to be people settling into boring ‘chickenshit conformists like your parents,’ but they know their audience?

    But if what they’re saying is ‘I don’t wanna get shot going downtown, to a bar &/or event &/or impromptu street race,’ sure?

    This all said, the way this city snd so many others are run, learn to be off grid in/near the city as much as possible as the city bureaucrats sell it or mismanage it out from under you and just skip the (post 1970s (& really any post boomer ‘everybody had too many kids’ screwup or that got laid down fast/all at once wh re the pre-war houses don’t integrate well/benefit from the infrastructure (Beaverton vs. St. John’s?) suburbs & circulate urban to rural?

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  4. That guy looks like his name could be Nester. A psychologist named Nester, who has been known to be a m@l$st&#.

    All in good fun. I’m sure he’s perfectly normal. For Portland that is.

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  5. IDK, I identify with the Birkenstocks at least.

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  6. I've been meaning to get myself another pair of Birkenstocks. I helped a friend with Portlands First Exclusive Birkenstock store here in Portland in 1977. I like them for house shoes.

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    1. At least the dude has the good taste to wear socks with them. Very high socks, but at least they are covering his feet. As strange as it might seem, one of my biggest pet peeves is men who wear sandals or flip flops out in public.

      Like Jack said, here is another public service announcement to any men reading this. No one wants to see your big clumsy and hairy feet while out in public. The beach or pool fine. But it’s a free country, so knock yourself out if that’s your thing.

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  7. I'm sure all the 20 and 30 somethings are looking at that pricey home, probably up in the hills, and becoming more depressed knowing they will never be able to even afford the down payment. Fantasy land indeed.

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  8. That’s Portland Beta Male at its finest!

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    1. Truthfully, he doesn’t look a whole lot different than any number of men walking around here in the 1970’s. Maybe a bit more on the emasculated side, but the overall look is similar.

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  9. Yeah typical Portland couple my ass.

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