There, there

Sometimes a story is completely true, sometimes it is completely false, and sometimes it contains elements of both truth and falsity.

Here's a wild tale out of Woodburn, involving a couple of the local politicians. I'm not sure where on the spectrum it lies. "Completely true" seems like a bit of a longshot, however. 

Swenson stopped by the massage parlor a few weeks earlier. He later told Woodburn Police Detective Linda Hedricks his shoulder was sore after watching a 49ers game on either Jan. 22 or Jan. 30 and he chose the spa because it was the only place open after 8 p.m....

“He had difficulty being specific about where the touching occurred and did not know what words to use,” Hedricks wrote in her report. “He told me there was just mutual touching ‘there.’”...

In the interview, a detective suggested police are looking into the massage parlor, saying: “We want to hold them responsible, and we want to get justice for the people who have become victims, like you and Mr. Medina.”

“I don’t need justice, so much, other than to forget the whole thing,” Swenson responded. 

On the 22nd, the 49ers beat the Packers, 13 to 10. On the 30th, the 49ers lost to the Rams, 20 to 17. 


  1. If these two morons thought his was a legitimate massage place, I've got a bridge I'd like to sell them.


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