Biden event moved to Sextant

President Joe Biden will be in town on Thursday, and so expect traffic to be even more screwed up than usual. He's going to give a speech on infrastructure, and then he's going to do a fundraiser with some progressive money types.

The fundraiser has been moved to a so-far secret location, but we've learned from an informed source that it will be held at an establishment on Northeast Marine Drive. They've already posted signs at the Sextant Bar and Galley that Pool Table No. 2 is reserved from 4:30 to 5:30 Thursday afternoon, and men in suits with walkie-talkies were seen earlier today inspecting the deep fryers for possible explosive devices.

When a reporter asked one of the bartenders if there was any truth to the reports of the President's impending visit, she responded cautiously. "We're not supposed to say anything," said Tiffany Niedermeyer. "But I will say, we're telling our customers with outstanding warrants to stay home until Friday. Also, we had to have an electrician fix the exhaust fan in the men's room."


  1. Further corroboration: Ted Nugent has been removed from the jukebox.

  2. LMAO, most direct route from the airport would be 33rd drive there by DEQ, Oregon Food Bank & uh...the ~1/2 mile of zombie RVs lining all of that section of 33rd drive/the columbia slough embankment between Columbia & Marine.

    So, Nixon visits Chicago &/or Dem. convention redux / line the whole thing w/giant plywood barricade LOL?

    nothing to see here... nothing to see...

    Bummer for the live-aboard boat guys that go to the Sextant as the go-to greasy spoon dive...

  3. I'm not one to blame a single individual president, but things are bad & 'it's the economy stupid' is likely to be a wipe-out for getting anything passed so half the bridges/basic infrastructure in this country don't fall down/apart in the next decade...

  4. 'Pay no attention to the all-encompasing-encampment squalor & misery lining all of 33rd drive &/or behind the curtain, sir'

    'I Feel Grrr8!
    'America is already great, look at the prosperity!'


Post a Comment

The platform used for this blog is awfully wonky when it comes to comments. It may work for you, it may not. It's a Google thing, and beyond my control. Apologies if you can't get through. You can email me a comment at, and if it's appropriate, I can post it here for you.