Worst. Basketball floor. Ever.

Last night was the beginning of the long season without Monday night football. So I was flipping around on the cable looking for another sport to anesthetize me for a little while. In the listings, the Washington State-Oregon men's basketball game looked kind of interesting.

When I got over there, the score was close and the players were going at it. But unfortunately, the game was being held in Eugene, in the Phil Knight basketball palace, and that hideous floor they've got there is just too much for me to bear.

It's some artist's depiction of a forest. Originally the trees were green, but that must have been too confusing to play on, so they've switched out the colors to a brown and yellow reminiscent of the contents of a baby's dirty diaper. I guess it's supposed to intimidate opponents or something, sort of like the blue turf on the Boise State football field. But there's a difference: After a few minutes, my eyes can adjust and I can watch Boise State football once in a while. Ducks basketball home games, try as I might, I just can't.

When you climb up on the roof and look at the whole thing, as in the photo above, you can kind of get it. But the closer you get to it, the more miserable it becomes. So after about five minutes, I turned that game off. Any other program is better than subjecting your eyes to that thing.

They should give the Nike dude who dreamed up that floor a medal, pat him on the back, tell him we'll never forget how wonderful it was. But for all that is holy, get rid of it. The floor of a basketball court doesn't have to be boring, but it shouldn't make viewers nauseous.

The Pac-12 conference should adopt some rules so that something this hideous never happens again.


  1. Try to find the center-court line in that mess.

  2. It's the kind of thing that you do as a one-off, for a special event, where everyone thinks 'that was kind of cool,' then forgets about. I can't imagine many people are happy with something that is so distracting that you have to trick your mind into seeing past it to watch the game. But I suppose only one person needs to be happy with it for it to stay. Heckuva job, Knighty.

  3. The color and look of vomit - go Duuuuuucks!


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