Kisses on the bottom

The postman rang twice last week, and left a lovely full-color flyer from my congressman, Earl "the Pearl" Blumenauer. Just what I was waiting for!

I don't know about you, but I sure will be relieved when they wheel him out and the bike pins go away. You'll still be able to snag one at the Goodwill Bins.

But I digress. When you open this mailer up, it's full of the man's impressive accomplishments and plans for the future.

Now now, I know what you're thinking: The Democrats in Congress can't get jack squat done, whereas when the Republicans are in control, they're an absolute assembly line of bad social policy. But don't blame it on Earl! 

That damn U.S. Senate. That guy Joe Manchin... that Sinema woman... Ron Wy–

Wait a minute! No names, please.

Being that this is an obvious political campaign piece, and Blumenauer has the safest seat in any elected government in the world, you wonder who's paying for it. Well, no, you don't really wonder. You know.

It would be interesting to know, since his district map was just redrawn, whether this went out to the Pearl's old constituents, or his new ones. Probably both. You can't get too much of a good thing.


  1. In my over 60 years living in the Willamette Valley I have had a few "opportunities" to come across Earl starting back in the early 70's when I was at PSU and later when he was a member of the YMCA. He is a total dick. One of the most unpleasant people I have ever met. He doesn't even try to be polite.

  2. Say, Earl? "Liveable"...

    You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.

  3. I'm a long-time constituent, have a legitimate issue that his office could address, and have attempted to get a response from his office for three years now, after leaving dozens of (polite) messages, emails, PMs, etc.. All hat, no cattle Earl. He's a walking cartoon.


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