He don't need no reindeer

There are no Santas in Portland in 2020. The kids can't go sit on his lap, tell him what they want, wonder if he's real, experience his Tic Tac breath. Even if there were no deadly pandemic in progress, the department stores that host St. Nick are all going out of business anyway. The elves are all wearing face shields at an Amazon warehouse out in Troutdale.

But Portland still needs a Christmas figure, someone to embody the spirit of the season here in the Rose City. Maybe Krampus can show up and save the day.
Krampus is a horned, anthropomorphic figure described as "half-goat, half-demon," who, during the Christmas season, punishes children who have misbehaved. This contrasts with Saint Nicholas, who rewards the well-behaved with gifts. Krampus is one of the companions of Saint Nicholas in several regions including Austria, Bavaria, Croatia, Czech Republic, Hungary, Northern Italy including South Tyrol and the Trentino, and Slovenia.
So many people in Portland deserve a visit from Krampus this year. Don't you think?


  1. Or elsewhere. Mar a lago perhaps?

    1. Maybe Melania could dress up as Krampus and visit the kids in cages down on the Mexican border.

      But there are plenty of bad boys and girls here in Portland, too. Plenty.


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