Also rural Oregon: Climate change is a hoax! Cliff Bentz for Congress!
More than one TV announcer has used the word "apocalyptic " to describe what's happening to Oregon right now. Of course that has religious overtones and I really don't want to go there. But then again, these calamities are beginning to add up, aren't they? I mean all in the same year? What are the odds? At least you have to wonder in passing if divine retribution is in play, right? Either way I do know one thing for sure: If you happen to end up in the after world talking to you-know-who, don't try and say, "Why didn't you send us a sign that you were mad at us? Couldn't you have given us a warning? We would have straightened up if you had just given us a message." (At this point God would lose it. He'd literally be yelling at us now): "A message? I gave you a world pandemic, 200 forest fires on the West Coast and 100 days of riots in Portland. I even sent my servant Ted Wheeler to screw it up even more. How much more of a message would it take before you figured out that I'm pissed off? Do you need an earthquake, too, because we can still do that."
Don't even think that!
Go with locusts and frogs.
It's happened before with the earthquakes. Remember the World Series Quake of 1989 in the Bay Area? It was the first quake to be on television live. I could imagine that conversation: "Why couldn't you have given us a sign - some sort of message that you exist?" "What are you talking about? I had a friggin' earthquake at a World Series game. Do you think that just happened?"