Stanford in crisis, down to their last $27 billion

Got a wild email today from the suits running Stanford. They're cutting 11 varsity sports because hey, they're broke!
As you may know, Stanford currently offers more varsity sportis [sic] than nearly every other Division I university in the nation. Our goal is to provide excellent support and a world-class experience for our student-athletes in the sports that we offer. Over time, however, providing 36 varsity teams with the level of support that they deserve has become a serious and growing financial challenge. 
We now face the reality that significant change is needed to create fiscal stability for Stanford Athletics, and to provide the support we believe is essential for our student-athletes to excel. 
Too poor for fencing! Can't afford rowing! Oh, the humanity! But you can never get enough brain damage, and so football will roll on, as soon as the pandemic is over.

The complete list of teams on which the Axe is about to fall: men’s and women’s fencing, field hockey, lightweight rowing, men’s rowing, co-ed and women’s sailing, squash, synchronized swimming, men’s volleyball, and wrestling. 


  1. No rowing? How Hollywood Celebs going to get their slacker kids in to Palo Alto??


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