The Pollen Bowl?

They're looking for a new name for the annual football game between Oregon and Oregon State. Apparently the "Civil War" moniker is out, because we need to forget that the actual Civil War ever happened.

Plus, it's such a violent name. Football is not a "war," people. Get it straight: It's young people inflicting brain damage on each other for everyone's entertainment.

So what should the new name be? Anybody got any suggestions? 

I hope they get this resolved quickly, so that we can turn to renaming the teams as well. Ducks, Beavers – how degrading to the animals.


  1. First, may I say that Canzano's suggestion - the Platypus Bowl - is idiotic. Maybe if they lived here in Oregon...maybe...but since they live on the island of Tasmania and parts of Australia I don't think it fits. The rationale that it's half duck and half beaver is cute for a second but then it just sounds lame. No flow. It's half duck/half beaver and all stupid.
    Okay, so what is my suggestion? How about the Statement Game? It's classy and makes some sense. The statement would be that you are the best football team in Oregon. Hell, even changing the name is a statement. Then you get the word "state" in the mix and that makes sense, too. Finally, it rolls off the tongue a lot better. It's a common phrase - like the Civil War - so I don't think it's a problem legally.
    Just picture a young football player bragging about winning this game. Is he going to feel prouder saying he won the Statement Game or the Platypus Bowl? Let's not screw this up, folks. Err on the side of classy over silly. You're welcome.

  2. Over-hyped-nonessential-scramble-over-who-rules-the-pond would seem to be appropriate...


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